by Betsy Hicks
As a child, I believed in the Angels approved and appointed by the Catholic Church. I imagined a world with Botticelli-winged soft-spoken cherubs whispering messages of love into my ear.
As an adult, my expanded view of a Higher Power, Universal love, Spirit Guides, and Angels of all religions allowed me to cultivate a divine relationship with those who were no longer in the physical but were still very much connected to me.
Simply put, I had a metaphysical belief system that “dead” people were in many ways still alive. Connecting with non-physical is a concept John had helped ripen in me over the past two decades.
Kimber Allen had been a psychic and empath most of her life but was just beginning to announce her capability to the public. Although she was comfortable assisting those who came to her that were aware of her ability, she was not yet relaxed with injecting her advice, especially to someone she didn’t know.
Kimber had befriended me on Facebook a couple of months before John’s death as a generated suggestion since we shared mutual friends, shortly after I posted a photo of a worn out John. We were working hard. Our business was booming. John was lying on the couch petting our dog and I had posted the photo with the words, “Tough day, month, year.” “Oh,” Kimber thought, “How sad, her husband is dying of cancer.” She saw his transition angels and assumed based on the words I used, that I knew he was about to die.
About two weeks following his death I wrote a public letter where I had expressed my shock at John’s death. Kimber was surprised that I hadn’t known and she was now receiving loud messages from John asking her to reach out to me.
Uncomfortably and completely out of character, Kimber sent me a message. She introduced herself awkwardly and told me John sent me a song. It was Warren Zevon’s, “Keep Me in Your Heart for a While”. I later discovered the song was written by Zevon when he was dying of lung cancer, and although that is what John ultimately died of, at the time all I had announced was that he’d had a heart attack. She also mentioned a few things that were expressed in a way that felt like John’s wording by using a silly play on words that was strikingly characteristic of John.
When I received the message from Kimber, I cannot say that I felt one way or another as far as believing it. This wasn’t my first psychic rodeo by any means, but I had no idea who this woman was and knew that if I was a psychic and my business needed a jump start, I would target widows. I kindly thanked her, listened to the song, certainly admitted that the words were very relevant, and then moved on.
I was staying with friends of mine in Nashville a couple of weeks after John’s passing. Sitting with one of my beautiful friends I was expressing that it was challenging knowing when to cry, when to hold back, when to laugh…basically how to transition between all of the emotions I was feeling. Simultaneously, we both remembered a scene from one of John’s favorite movies, “Eat, Pray, Love”. It is when Liz is dancing with her ex-husband to Neil Young’s, “Harvest Moon.”
Her ex says to her, “I still love you.”
“So love me,” Liz says.
He then says, “I miss you.”
She replies, “So miss me, send me love and light every time you think of me…then drop it.”
She goes on to say, “It won’t last forever, nothing does.”
That night John came to me. You could call it a dream, but it was way more palpable. Just like the scene in the movie we danced. He told me he loved me, kissed me on the forehead and vanished.
“Don’t leave me, John!” I cried still feeling his touch.
I wanted to talk to him. I had questions. I needed to hear him reassure me that everything was going to be okay, just like he did night after night during our marriage when I would wake up with panic attacks.I ran to my computer and sent a message to Kimber expressing my desire to speak with her. Maybe she was a phony, but any ounce of comfort or hope would be welcomed. She was busy but agreed to have a phone call with me in a week.
It took her about 2 minutes to have me convinced that John was coming through her. She spoke not only of things that only John would know about, but she even said them the way John would have expressed them.
“You may not want to hear this so soon,” Kimber then announced, “but John is sending you a great love who will arrive in October. John knows you don’t like being alone so he’s asking you to relax. Your new soulmate will be the last partner in your life and it will be a greater love than you have ever known. In one year’s time, your life will have taken a complete 180.”
I loved hearing this. I loved believing her. My more suspicions friends joked about a hysterical idea for a Netflix series about a woman who stalks people on Facebook, learns all of their personal information, and then poses herself as a psychic (which actually would be a great series), but I brushed off the doubt. I could feel John in her words and at that time, with so much being lost, her words were all I had.
Months passed and Kimber would often send me texts or quickly call because John was nudging her. One time, when I was moving very heavy boxes of John’s research from his office into the attic. I was wearing flip-flops.
Kimber called, “Are you doing something with John’s papers?”
“Yes,” I replied, “I’m storing them.”
“Well, he wants you to change your shoes. He says it’s not safe to go up a ladder without good shoes,” she said as I laughed with joy in the reminder that he is always looking out for me.
I never again initiated contact with Kimber until one day in August. I had been dating a guy briefly and he broke up with me. I was devastated and felt lost and alone. Kimber instructed me to go to John’s favorite spot which I knew instantly was New Brighton Beach in Santa Cruz. I started the conversation reminding her that she said a great love was coming to me in October.
“Oh yes, he is!” She declared confidently.
I was leaving on a cruise at the beginning of September with friends and my daughters. She felt I would connect with him while on the cruise, but we wouldn’t get together until closer to October.
She told me the first thing I needed to do was get off of match.com and get on eHarmony.com. The guy was waiting for me there. The first clue was that he grew up with horses and we would eventually be living with horses. She felt we would be living in the Santa Barbara area but she didn’t feel he lived there now. He was athletic, rugged, and kind. She went on to say he had a big heart and was deeply attracted to me. We would fall in love extremely fast and spend the holidays together and I would be engaged by the following year. She warned that my family would feel I was jumping in too soon and not to listen to them.
But there was one more important detail; I needed to buy a dress. It was a fuchsia orangey colored sheath dress from Calvin Kline. She wasn’t clear why I needed to buy that dress, but assured me it was important.
I felt encouraged after our conversation and provided the details to my daughter Jessie, who although skeptical about the encounter, helped me find the dress. And then I did what any passionate single woman who was searching for love would do…I signed up for eHarmony, left for my cruise, and waited.
For those wanting to reach out to Kimber, her website is www.kimber.love