I’d like to say I wasn’t being superficial, but I was. After communicating with my eHarmony match, Ron, I was excited to meet this seemingly vibrate and athletic man, but as I stepped out of the car, my first thought was, “He needs liver help.” Not exactly the romantic beginning of love at first site.

I can’t help it. Twenty years in working with chronically ill people and side by side my late husband Dr. John Hicks…I know things. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know things, but a grey complexion and dull eyes told me this man needed a detox stat!

Within days of dating and observing his beverage intake of mostly coffee and Coke coupled with his belief that he was healthy because he ate salads, I knew if I wanted to keep our relationship progressing, some changes would need to be made, but by our third date (after I gasped and sighed a little loudly when he put 1/4 cup of sugar in his coffee) he expressed his concerns to my obvious disapproval. “Listen, other women have tried, but this is who I am and I don’t want to change.”

Got it! Alrighty, now what?

We fell in love quickly and if we were going to date, it was not going to happen at a pub. If I was going to make him dinner, it would not involve melted cheese. I could certainly tolerate his choices, but I wasn’t going to enable them. There is no soda, microwave, or packaged food in my home.

I understand food and the body’s needs for nutritional support and he knew that he wasn’t going to win an argument if the topic was health and wellness, but after hearing me coach others his curiosity peaked and he began to ask questions.

Your first lesson of this blog: ALWAYS wait for the questions before offering advise and then (and this is so important) DROP IT!

Because I didn’t push against, he started to pay attention and I gave interesting facts in small doses. After several weeks of not consuming MSG three meals a day, taking a few supplements, and discovering the many benefits of drinking water, Ron’s body began to change; he could feel the ease in his body and other’s were noticing and complimenting him.

He wanted to do more. His choice, it HAD to be his choice.

Ron’s health transformation (at nearly 60 years of age) was remarkable and that is when I decided that there needs to be a website that sets small realistic goals for those who feel defeated by kale.

No one is judged here. You are where you are.

Welcome to Realistic Health and Wellness


  1. Dearest Betsy
    Congratulations! May God grant you abundance in all that you are undertaking .
    Keep on the good works.
    Life changes and we grieve over all of our lessons , I too have been writing and have made massive changes .
    We both know how important diet and the health of our gut so important .
    It’s been a good while since we have been in touch but I have never forgotten our times together . A few days ago I came across your recipes from the cooking course here in Barbados seems a lifetime ago.
    Please keep in touch , hopefully we can hook up on whatsapp or messenger or one of them.
    Love & light


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here