by Betsy Hicks

There is no shortage of motivational speakers and life-coaches encouraging their method of success, but if you’re like me and struggle to fit flossing into your morning routine, you want a condensed guide to feeling good fast.

I have put in countless hours over the past two decades with workshops, books, and therapy on learning to love myself, create peace, and expand as a human being. Gratefully the Universe helped nudge me with several life tragedies and enough assholes to create a half a century of invaluable schooling.

I have narrowed it down to three steps to follow for my difficult decisions or impatience towards my present situation. There is important spiritual fluff that allows these principals to expand, but the majority of it comes down to this:

Step 1 – Appreciate where you are.

No matter how much it sucks, no matter how justified you are to dig a hole and bury yourself, appreciate or at the very least, be satisfied with where you are at this moment without saying “but”. Example: “I love my job, but…..” If you chronically complain, point out problems, or focus on the devastation, you might as well glue your feet to where you are because you’re not going far. When you take notice of goodness and beauty you not only get to your desired destination faster, but your journey becomes equally delightful.

Step 2 – Be clear about where you want to go and visualize the path.

“Anywhere but here”, is not a direction. Make this simple; identify your destination or desire and ask yourself, “What would this look like if it were easy?” Do not argue for your limitations. Pretend you are your own litigation lawyer who is convincing the jury of your dreams. Shout, “objection” to negative thoughts. Get out of your own way.

Step 3 – Act on inspiration

If you are wanting to support injustice, put your dollars and time into being a part of the solution rather than only protesting the opposition. Take part in organizations and candidates that build positive change momentum rather than congregate for the sake of being angry together. If you are gravitating to a certain lifestyle….a new partner, a dream job, or a different environment, the path to get there will beckon you with synchronicity, but you must take steps towards the prize. Move at whatever speed is logical, but know that motivation comes because the idea is alive and actively ready to deliver a solution. Ignoring inspiration will eventually force you off track as it makes the route overwhelming. Self-confidence comes from being challenged, but you are not expected to solve the obstacles in a day. Just like athletes, endurance and strength come with bumps that get you in shape for the achievement. Falling off the path or taking a wrong turn (what others may call mistakes) are essential to not only clarify your direction but to guarantee success when you arrive.

No matter how insignificant or major the struggle is, taking a step by step approach softens the overwhelming feeling of powerlessness. You are capable and deserving of happiness. Expect it. When it arrives, claim it!



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